I'm going to treat myself with a massage!

I desperately need a massage, well, I need the whole spa day. My body yearns for it. My spirit is calling out for it. And hey, a little exfoliation does the body good.

The whole massage thing can be a little invasive, don't you think? My first massage (besides from the boyfriends who had their own little body lotion and tried to seduce me...you've been there right?) was from the chiropractor's office. I'd been in an accident and part of the claim or recovery was to get massage therapy. That was fine, but it wasn't quite the relaxing experience that I'd thought it would be.

But let me tell you about my first real experience of a spa massage. It was at Carmen Carmen via a gift certificate. I was extremely excited, but I really didn't know what to expect besides of what they show on TV. Eric, a lean muscled cute white guy, was my masseuse and he led me to my room.

Aromatherapy candles were lit, the lights were dimmed and the atmosphere was soothing. "Take off all of your clothes and lay on the table, and I'll be back."

"All of my clothes?" I asked. He nodded yes. "Okay, but I'll probably fall asleep because I had a baby several months ago and I'm tired," I joked. I guess he thought it was a little funny because he halfheartedly laughed. I took off my clothes while looking around at all the oils, towels, and candles. Finally, I laid on the table and waited for Eric to work out the kinks in my muscles.

He entered and went right to work. He massaged my thighs, feet, arms, back, calves...oh, it felt so freakin' good! Finally, he said, "Time for me to do the front of you...did you fall asleep?"

"No, I was a little too cold," I said.

"Why didn't you put a towel over you?" He questioned.

"You didn't tell me to. You said, 'take off all of your clothes and lay on the table' and that's what I did." Who would know to automatically take the towel and drape it over them? I didn't! He didn't tell me to take off my clothes, take a towel and drape it over my body and then lay on the table! I was butt-balled naked when Eric walked in the room and massaged by body.

He said, "Well, I wondered why you didn't have anything on. I kept my eyes closed the whole time while I massaged you, but I'm a man, you know." Yeah, I noticed Eric. And, I'm a woman and truth be told, my mind was thinking, "just graze it a lil' bit..." (Hey, I was celibate! Don't judge me!)

Needless to say (clearing my throat), when I rolled to my front I put the sheet over me and the rest of the massage was dull...I mean professional...I mean, done correctly and relaxing. (Hey, I'm older and I know what to expect now.)

So, as I try to book a massage in the next for weeks, uhhhh, Eric are you out there?