Thursday, January 28, 2010

Black Luv...

There is no secret that I would love to be in a love. No longer do I wish to settle with being just a "friend." I'm darn near 40 years old so when does a promotion come? Who wants that year after year without growth and progession? "Yeah, she's just my friend." Ugh, so many females I know are just the "friend".

But, this blog is not about that. It's about me reminding myself what I am waiting for...what I'm guarding my heart for. I'm talking about that Barack and Michelle Obama type of love. Where he still holds her hand, whisper in her ear and protects her. And, she stands behind him working towards his vision and while still keeping hers, supporting him and standing by him regardless of how much stress he may let slide into the bedroom. Even if there was an issue in their relationship, you'd never know it. That's what I'm talking about!

I'm talking about that Titus and Kesha type of love where she never saw limits to his person as he sat in his wheelchair, but only potential and purpose. He doesn't allow physical limits to lead him to a life of excuses, but works hard so that she can homeschool their children, he washes her head full of locs, practices patience as she committed precious time away from him to watch other children besides theirs, caters to her needs all while laughing as they grow closer as best friends. And she, honors him always, sends sweet messages through Facebook advertising her love for him, she allows him to be the man and the head of household and lovingly refers to him as "my husband" or "Big Daddy." That's the kind of love I'm talking about!

I'm talking about that Kami and Isayah kind of love. I love the fact that they have stickability through everything that comes their way. Yeah, it gets hard for them but they keep pushing and working together. I love that they are both creative, rooted, pray for eachother and pray together. They work together on projects yet work on their own...they are truly partners. Who doesn't want a partner in their relationship? A best friend to have their back? That is the kind of love that I'm talking about.

I want that type of love. Of course, I don't know what goes on behind closed doors, but I do know the integrity of these people, these couples and what they have is real. So real. Yeah, it may be work but they realize that it is not greener on the other side so they work together to keep it together.

Who says that Black love doesn't exist? All the good men are locked away in jail, dead or gay? Or, the older we get then there won't be any men left? Heck no, I don't subscribe to that. I can't. I don't want to live my forties alone or settle for half a man.

I have too many examples of good men, good women and true Black love.  Here are a few honorable mentions simply chosen because they don't keep their love hidden:

Chuck and Ava - Now, they really love each other and for a young couple, they have put in some years.They have two beautiful children, a son with autism. And, even though raising a child with autism is rough, they hold on and still find humor in their lives. Ava is always laughing. When I look at them it reminds me of a settled love. Not a bad settle, but the cozy, comfortable settled. They know one another and accepts everything each has to offer.

Dean and Tracey - He is a well sought after comedian and she is a professor. They have two beautiful girls and have been in love for ages!

Vincent and Keita - He is a well known DJ and she does it all. They promote the hottest parties in NY. I am sure they get both men and women throwing themselves at them, but they stand united. They love eachother so much that they look alike. One daughter and a baby on the way.

Ericka and Malik - she married a younger man and he honored her so much that he let some old habits go for the sake of their relationship.

(Ava and Chuck, Ericka and Malik)

I know so many other couples that I can't name them all. But, you get the picture...that's the love I'm talking about!

(Titus washed and now twisting Kesha's hair.)


  1. Honey, I gotta say God has blessed me with a REAL MAN. He is better than I could have ever prayed for. LOL We are coming up on 3 years of marriage and I gotta tell you I wouldn't trade him or married life for anything. Thanks for acknowledging us on your blog. I am a true believer that when you can rejoice with others that the blessings will come to you also. Love you Sis!

  2. It was my inspires me not to give it so I enjoy watching people in love. I learn from you! So, thank you!

  3. Wow, Alicia! That post made me cry. You are such an awesome writer. I always feel every word down to my soul. Thank you for including us in your celebration of Black Love. It ain't easy, honey, but it's worth it. Agape means unconditional and that's what's we're in matter what..without any strings.

    Listen, I agree with Keisha, God is gonna bless you with that kinda love, the kind that's more precious than gold. You just continue preparing yourself and having fun along the way. I just love you blog!!!