Sunday, May 30, 2010
Yesterday was a totally, horrible hormonal day...
At least once a month for several days things go absolutely wrong. Life seems drastic, upsetting, devastating, and terrible. And, it seems as every thing and every one gets on my nerves. Yesterday was no different.
I woke up yesterday morning to do a task with the best of my ability. You see, my cousin asked me on Friday if I could take care of her pit bull. "All you have to do is take her out of her cage, feed her, put her on a leash to go outside and poop, take a treat and throw it in her cage and she'll go in, then lock her back up..." Sounded easy enough, plus she offered a cool $150 to do it. For me, it wasn't about the money, I wanted to do it out of loyalty for our relationship because she'd do it for me, for sure. There was one problem - I am not an animal person, at least not like that. But, I thought I'd give it a try.
Setting my alarm to get up early and get her dog breakfast, I arrived at her house at almost 8 AM. Her husband was there and showed me the ropes. Her cute dog kept jumping up on me with energy galore! Whew! Excited as she was, she tuned me out as I kept saying, "Get down!" She really is a good dog, but my anxiety began building up and I envisioned by the 3rd day her pit bull sensing my emotions and testing me. Immediately, I texted my cousin and hoped that she wouldn't be mad or disappointed in me. She wasn't, but her husband was. He felt that I told them at the last minute. So, I carried that freakin' guilt with me for the rest of the day. I kept thinking, "I hope he won't stay upset because I don't want it to affect the relationship that we all were building." Ugh!
Then, my Granny called with the, "I thought you would have called to help me move." I honestly haven't called her on a regular basis since here beloved "Sophia" has been here with her puppy-dragged-by-the-collar husband. One, I was so hurt when they all had a mini-reunion here in Charlotte and no one, including the Granny who I'd been sacrificing food and finances for, didn't bother to even call and invite me. Whatever. Two, I'm not going to give her a chance to "act funny" like she does to everyone else when the "Joneses" are around. I would be deeply hurt if she played me to the left in front of them. So, I kept my distance. Besides, I didn't really want to break bread with the "Joneses", but the lack of a dinner invitation-- well, that's about principle. Any-hoo, I had to call my Granny back and that put me on the phone with Sophia. Yessss....her...
"Hi, Can I speak to Granny?" I asked.
"Well hello Lisa, how are you?" (In that fraudulent Madea tone, you know when she over enunciates her words? Yep, that's the tone.)
"I'm fine, thanks."
"Where have you been?" She asked in that same uppity, condescending voice.
"Where have you been?" I retorted.
"I've been here for 3 weeks."
"I've been here for 3 weeks, too."
I wanted her to just push the right button (on me) because I had a lot of thoughts that I would have loved to unleash on her. But, all remained calm because I quickly ended the call right after that. Just hearing her voice put me in a funk. That's a whole 'nother blog. Double Ugh!
Then, I got a call that my cousin was in the hospital. He had just had a stroke. He's a diabetic and hasn't been taking good care of himself. Plus, he just buried his newly grand baby who died from SIDS. He's only about 43 years old and has been going through some things as of late. Triple Ugh!
A glass of wine later, my friend called. I think I was already in a funk, but desperately wanting his call to somehow cheer me up or put me in a different frame of mind. It didn't. We got off on a debate which turned into another debate (or, question upon question) which eventually made me feel that we dug our convo in a hole to never see the light of day again. He asked, "So, we probably won't be able to get along (paraphrased, he meant "not get along in the future".) Since I couldn't predict it and wasn't in the mood to play that guessing game, I let him figure it out. I was too tired from a totally, horrible hormonal day to think such negative thoughts. So, I ended the call. Quadruple Ugh!
I think I'll just hibernate because this, too, shall past. Ugh!
Posted by Alicia Williams at 9:52 AM