Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Thank goodness we can't choose our family members

because I'd be frustrated with myself for having made such bad decisions! My friend Kesha taught me, "as far as the love and family, honey family is comprised of the people that love you most not blood so really you choose your family." Thank you, sister.

Okay, here's the deal. My Granny's three daughter's don't get along. The middle one (*Kate) and youngest (*Cheryl) don't care for the oldest (*Sophia). They say that Sophia and husband are control freaks, money hungry, manipulatice, etc. I was tired of their bickering, which I stayed out of. Like Rodney King, "can't we all just get along?"

Now, fast forward. Granny has been talking about moving to Charlotte because Sophia suggested it a year back. The plan was, Sophia was to stay several months during the winter so that they both could escape the harsh winters of Detroit. Granny was sold on the idea especially after her sister died. Sophia talked her into moving into a two bedroom apartment (not a Senior's resident home) so that they could share an apartment. All of the bills are too much for Granny's SS check. I assisted Sophia in getting the lease signed, utilities turned on, etc. Everyone fought Granny on this move, "she's too old", "she needs medical assistance" and "she shouldn't be left alone." It was drama filled and no one listened to each other, just fought.

Skip a that Granny is here, where is Sophia? Sophia showed up one time when Granny's SS check arrived for the first time. Bought Granny a few groceries, but didn't really stock her up on anything. Sophia has used every excuse on not coming down here. Family say that she and husband took power of attorney over my Great Aunt's estate and inherited a load. But, no one knows how much, not even Granny -- her own sister. Hmmm...that is very suspicious.

Anyway, Sophia sent an email, without the decency to call me since it was marked urgent, on what Granny needed. What nerve? (I might add, my ex-husband moved my Granny down here for cheaper than their movers and she got very upset with me because she tried to manipulate him to bring her stuff without extra pay. She pretty much stopped being my best friend, no more phone calls. At that point, I could understand what Kate and Cheryl were talking about.)

I was more upset with Sophia trying to handle me. As I reflected back on the whole ordeal, she only contacted me when she needed me. Point is (isn't it always about the point?) she reneged on her word. She sent Granny down here without assisting on getting her set-up. Not understanding that my schedule isn't as flexible to check on her daily nor is my budget free to fill in the gaps needed to help her live comfortably. Not once has she contacted me to see if things were okay with Granny's transition. What was the point, Sophia? Did you in fact take all of our Great-Aunt's money and shipped ol' Gran down here to get her out of your hair? Wouldn't her own sister leave her some inheritance? I don't care about any money, but I care about the point...honestly, integrity, and standing on your word.

Ugh, family is trying to get me caught up in this mess. Heck no, family - this is a group effort! I'm grown now so I can say what I want. I've earned a few stripes to enable me to articulate my thoughts. Hmph! I refuse to be put in the middle of this war between family. I was fine on my own with my child all the way down here in Charlotte, out of the way of words and accusations. Wait, I think they are all trying to handle me! Yep, it's time that I speak up and let them all know that they need to take care of their mother and set their petty differences aside. I can't do this alone. There is no time for "out of sight, out of mind." (Yeah, they're playing that game right now.)

Hmph! Like an old friend used to say, "You can't spit on me and tell me it's raining."


  1. I'm having issues with a couple of family members right now too. Maybe it's the season for nasty idiotic behavior from them dern blood relatives!

  2. Girl, your words inspire me as you can see. I keep on pushing.

  3. Well, as they say, "You can pick and choose your friends but not your family." I oersonally learned to separate myself a long time ago. I have a family member who likes to tell everyone what I am NOT doing, but neglects to say what I AM doing.

    Hang tough and keep it in prayer. Listen closely and use discernment.

    Love you, chic