Friday, February 12, 2010

The other night...

"just my friend" picked me up to take me to see the Alvin Ailey Dance Company. (I love dance and theatre!) Anyway, he - also known as "just my friend" - was on his cell phone helping a distressed co-worker. Well, she wasn't really that distressed because the conversation was rambling about the same thing at one point, but it was all about work. Hmph! With my prodding, "just my friend" ended the call with an excuse like, "I've got to pick my daughter up now" or something like that.

Oh, this did not sit well with me. I thought of many phrases he could have said to get him off the call. For example, "I'm sorry, I have to end this call now, but if you have more questions we can discuss them tomorrow at work..." or "My friend is coming, I apologize to have to cut our conversation short..." Anything other than making me feel less than a "friend" and putting our meeting off as him picking up his daughter! Come on!

Let me give a little background on "just my friend." He is a loyal friend (I know, I can hear you, "he wasn't too loyal if he had to lie about you) who I hang out with from time to time. He also helps with those manly repairs that I need fixed around the house and he even taught my daughter how to ride her bike. He teases and questions me about my secret crushes I've blogged about or the dates I've had since I've known him and how I never talk or blog about him.

So, I said to him... "that [the phone call] is exactly why I don't talk about you to anyone. As a friend, it seems as if keep me hidden. We're friends and you couldn't say, "gotta go, my friend is here,"? I get excited about Myrhh (the vegan) and Damian (the guy at church) because of the mystery. There could be a possibility with them. But with you, there are no possibilities, nothing to explore. I've shut that idea out of my head so you are "just my friend." AND, with that little comment you made to your co-worker, it reminds me that you are and will only be "just my friend."

I know...he is a man and sometimes they don't think. Trust me, I punished him a long time with my tongue and attitude, but I think and hope he got the point. If "just my friend" wants to remain "a friend" then we definitely have to work on allowing our friendship room to grow. I talk about all of my friends. There is a source of confidence and pride when we share achievements, timelines, conversations, especially with others. So, why are we, "just my friend" and me, not allowing that in our friendship? Good question.

Are you taking friend?


  1. Maybe the co-worker wasn't just a friend...hmmm. Otherwise why did he tell the lie. Does "just my friend" lie to well and too easily? Does "just my friend's" pros outweigh him cons? Is "just my friend easily replaced"?