Thursday, February 4, 2010

I Pray that my daugher

treats me good in my old age. I really do. I'm watching how this thing is unfolding with my Granny. And, I'm sure she has planted love and unity in her children, but not sure if she is quite reaping what she sowed. It makes me think, I do hope that my daughter wants to be around me as much as I enjoy being around her now.

Let me let you in on a little secret. I don't want to grow old alone. It's a scary thought to be that old person who can't get out of the tub. I think that's one of the driving forces for me wanting a mate (besides the thought of unrepented sex.) Okay...moving on. If I am blessed to have a long life, I want my family (as Kesha defined - see yesterday's post) and friends around me. But, I want my daughter to be there to love on me, play in my hair and sit with me. More importantly, I want her to want to do those things.

These are things that I want to do with my Granny, without feeling overwhelmed or forced to. So, to restore balance in my life (I don't need extra stress because it causes weight gain in the mid-section and gray hair, all which I don't need more of) I emailed my family to let them know that I won't be able to assist my Granny in the coming weeks (due to my schedule change and location of work). And, she'll need their help. Etc.

A friend said that I would need to stick to my word. But, I can't fathom neglecting my grandmother in any kind of way. You know what it's like? It's like wanting to rescue your baby who is lying in the crib crying her/his eyes out, but in your heart you know you have to teach them to go to sleep, but listening to the sobs is killing you. It's not the punishment, but the lesson. Oh gosh, I just heard a voice saying, "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you." I thought it was a tomfoolery then, but there is truth in that statement. It took me almost 40 years to understand it. 

Isn't she the cutest thing? Well, all of us are hot!

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