Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Okay...am I up for trying new things?
Okay, I got a phone call today from someone in which I usually ignore. Why? Because I know that it could be dangerous for me and potentially lead me into an arena that I am not sure that I want or even ready to tackle. Okay, let me preface this by admitting that I previously wrote about dating someone as long as he wasn't fat. But, what about white? Woud I date someone outside of my race? Latino, yes! But, a white guy? I've never been attracted to one before especially as I've poured over many pages of my history as I majored in African-American studies. Oh yeah, I thought some white guys were cute, but just never imagined myself dating one.
Fast forward, this guy calls periodically. I met him a while back while working on a project. One day after working, we went out for drinks and while walking to the parking lot, under the shadows of the moon he kissed me. He didn't just peck me, but he kissed me passionately. The type of kiss that Oprah talked about when discussing Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God. If you don't know what I'm talking about, rent the movie and watch how TeaCake (sexy Michaeld Ealy) kissed Janie (Halle Berry).
I ignore his calls because of that kiss. It scared me. Its been a lonnngggg time since someone seemed passionate about me as if they wanted to take in the very essence of me. Or, kissed me like nothing in the world at that very moment mattered, except me. And, that's what he did. I have to admit that I replay that memory in my head like a movie from time to time. Hmmm? Do white boys really have it going on or was it a fluke? I'm not sure but I do love my brotha's, but will I ever be open to anyone outside of a Black man? Is it just a hang-up of mine that I need to get over?
I asked many friends if they'd date outside of the race? Many women said that they were open to it. But, were they just words or truth? I've heard the arguments and debates of shortages, being open to whomever God sends you, blah, blah, blah... To be honest, I never really applied these arguments to myself because those other races never really paid attention to me so it was never an issue, or made real. However, now that I wear my hair natural, I've gotten looks from the other side. It's flattery, but I ask myself again...am I up for trying new things?