Monday, March 8, 2010

My daughter has put me in a funk...

And, I'm quite sure that I put her into one as well.

Today was a gorgeous day, but we spent it all indoors. Yep, didn't soak up any of that Vitamin D and now its back to work tomorrow morning. All she had to do was get caught up on her school work, but guess what? That never happened.

I homeschool her and lately, I've been inundated with work and couldn't focus sit with her. But, she has had three consistent weeks of being able to concentrate (sitting in one classroom while I travel to different ones) and I'd check her work and give her feedback and directions. But, somehow she didn't take the directions and follow through. Now, guess what? We both missed an opportunity to go outside and do something fun.

What I wish?
1. For her to find passion about something. She takes piano, but she doesn't automatically practice on her own, I have to remind her to do so. Or, sewing. Oh, she just had to have a sewing machine because she loved sewing, but guess what? It's not like she has a driving force to turn it on and sew until her little fingers are sore, in fact, she did more sewing without it. I have only found her passionate about one thing...watching television. She can do that non-stop and tune out everything around her. Oh yeah, she likes to read, thank goodness. But, I find our worst fight is with her school work. She's slow and unfocused which makes for a bad combination because I'm hard on her. Usually she ends up crying after I fuss at her, but she should be used to the tears because Isurely am.

2. Me to be more patient. I have to admit it, I do lose my patience. I expected that I'd get better with age, but that's not happening. My prayer is that with patience, I will be able to accept her the way she is and not get angry when she doesn't respond the way that I want her to. Because Lord know that the phrase, "Get outta my sight," is getting caught in my throat. Yes, I want her to focus and get the work done with the direction that I give her, but today she sat there "reading" from about 2 to 7:30 with little to show for it. (Did I mention that she likes to sit in the bathroom (since she was 4) forever...she can sit for 30 plus minutes on the toilet! Just wasting time.)

3. Her to be more responsible. This is a biggie. I have to remind my lovely daughter the same things every day and wish that she'd have the sense to finally do it on her own. "Did you put on deoderant?", "Did you put lotion on your face?", "You woudn't be so itchy if you'd moisturize your body." For goodness sake, I need a break from reminding her to do the common sense things that I've reminded her to do over the past five years. Today I told her that I pray that God withholds her cycle because she is not yet ready or responsible enough to handle it. Why am I still reminding you to take allergy medicine when you know that your nose is running and your eyes are itching? Ugh, that's aggravating!

4. Me not to withhold my affection when I'm aggravated with her. This is an important one for me because she is very affectionate. Sometimes I get so irritated that I want her away so that I can calm down. But, I wish that I can quickly let go of negative emotions and energy and move to the next moment so that I can be there for her in the way that she needs me. (This one makes me question if I'm indeed ready for marriage because if I'm made then he's not touching me...most likely.)

Of course, I'm blogging out of frustration because of the day I had. I know, I know...momma said that there would be days like these.


  1. I have to tell you homeschool mama to homeschool mama, don't let nice sunny days pass because of work undone. We are new to this and so are the children and we have to remember that. Sometimes you find that the thing that we think we shouldn't do it just what we need. Everyone seems to be having problems right now. I asked a homeschooling Mama yesterday if she'd forgotten how she felt in the spring when she was stuck in a classroom. The fun in homeschooling is that we have freedoms that others don't. One day out of the blue, she will remember the things you want her too. Some things she will never remember. I will say, however, that the once you limit the television permanently things will change. I also ask questions about what is going on on the show, to keep them conscious. I am one of those people that doesn't believe that anything should have a full hold on your brain like that. The television may be telling her what her vision is rather than her figuring it out. Also, she may not know her passions yet for the same reasons that she doesn't know a lot of stuff. She's a kid. I'm 32 and just figured out what my passion is, and guess what? I still don't know every detail of it. LOL Learn to relax. Embrace each moment as it comes for what it is and let that be enough. We'll talk more later when I see you if you want. Nakupenda.

  2. Breathe, just breathe. Thank you, you are as always, right on time with your advice and two cents. Luv you!