Wicked is Life

Something has changed within me

Something is not the same

I'm through with playing by the rules

Of someone else's game

Too late for second-guessing

Too late to go back to sleep

It's time to trust my instincts

Close my eyes: and leap!

Life is a journey. It can be an amazing one if we let it. And, this year I hope to make it an amazing one even in the midst of unemployment and an unstable future.

Sitting in the auditorium watching the wonderfully crafted musical, Wicked, I found a lesson. Watching Elphaba finally breaking away from the limits that others place upon her as well as dealing with her unusual oddness was so refreshing. Yes, a green girl trying to life a half normal life is strange, but to have the purpose of living to take care of her disable sister? Ugh! "Don't do what you want? Do what we tell you to do? Live this way and not that way!" Not Elphaba and not me! And, hopefully not my daughter, Dove.

I wrote my first book, Up From Rock Bottom, to prove to my daughter that she can do anything that she wants to do. I wanted her to stretch her mind and creativity and understand that life has no limits. As a child, I pretty much got her involved in the creative world and that child would watch every musical including the long length "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." In fact, her kindergarten teachers thought she had ADD, but she was having a musical going in her head.

Through the years, I found that I put so much into her that I lost myself. And, now here it is 11 years later and I'm rediscovering me. Unemployed and questioning my purpose. Am I to go back to school? What about money? Should I just get a "real" job if there is such a thing?

But, at least I have the courage to find me and what I really want. It's time to fly and live life! Defy gravity and do everything. I may not ever be Puffy Combs rich, but I want a fulfilled life without regrets! So as Elphaba says: it's time...

It's time to try

Defying gravity

I think I'll try

Defying gravity

And you can't pull me down!

So if you care to find me

Look to the western sky!

As someone told me lately:

"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"

And if I'm flying solo

At least I'm flying free

To those who'd ground me

Take a message back from me

Tell them how I am

Defying gravity

I'm flying high

Defying gravity