Friday, July 2, 2010

Wicked is Life

Something has changed within me
Something is not the same
I'm through with playing by the rules
Of someone else's game
Too late for second-guessing
Too late to go back to sleep
It's time to trust my instincts
Close my eyes: and leap!

Life is a journey. It can be an amazing one if we let it. And, this year I hope to make it an amazing one even in the midst of unemployment and an unstable future.

Sitting in the auditorium watching the wonderfully crafted musical, Wicked, I found a lesson. Watching Elphaba finally breaking away from the limits that others place upon her as well as dealing with her unusual oddness was so refreshing. Yes, a green girl trying to life a half normal life is strange, but to have the purpose of living to take care of her disable sister? Ugh! "Don't do what you want? Do what we tell you to do? Live this way and not that way!" Not Elphaba and not me! And, hopefully not my daughter, Dove.

I wrote my first book, Up From Rock Bottom, to prove to my daughter that she can do anything that she wants to do. I wanted her to stretch her mind and creativity and understand that life has no limits. As a child, I pretty much got her involved in the creative world and that child would watch every musical including the long length "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." In fact, her kindergarten teachers thought she had ADD, but she was having a musical going in her head.

Through the years, I found that I put so much into her that I lost myself. And, now here it is 11 years later and I'm rediscovering me. Unemployed and questioning my purpose. Am I to go back to school? What about money? Should I just get a "real" job if there is such a thing?

But, at least I have the courage to find me and what I really want. It's time to fly and live life! Defy gravity and do everything. I may not ever be Puffy Combs rich, but I want a fulfilled life without regrets! So as Elphaba says: it's time...

It's time to try
Defying gravity
I think I'll try
Defying gravity
And you can't pull me down!

So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky!
As someone told me lately:
"Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!"

And if I'm flying solo
At least I'm flying free
To those who'd ground me
Take a message back from me
Tell them how I am
Defying gravity
I'm flying high
Defying gravity

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