Playing Dress Up

I've been invited out, which will be major fun. That's the good news. Want to know the bad news? The clothes in my closet haven't been updated since 1998. Yep, I've got stuff in my closet (that I still wear) that I've had before my daughter was even born. Seriously. I know, it's sad. But, I hate clothes shopping. It's not my thing. It gives me a headache especially shopping at TJ Maxx and Marshalls - too many racks of clothes bunched all together!! Ugh!


Maybe it's because I get flashbacks of my mother shopping for me in the husky size when I was a kid. And, watching her break a sweat in the dressing room as her size 1 frame struggled to pull a pair of husky Levi's over my fat thighs. It was hard for her to have a fat daughter and it was hard for me to have a very skinny mom. I've detested shopping and trying on clothes ever since. But, I do it because sometimes it can be enjoyable.

For instance, I went to find a new dress to wear for my 40th celebration and it was pleasing to see how my Zumba body has shaped up. (I'm not that fat girl that I used to be.) So, I picked up a hot little number to place in my old-fashioned closet.

Now that I'm invited out, my cousin Shinnel urged me to stop by her house with the dress to accessorize it. Yeah, that chic has a closet out of a made for TV movie. We accessorized the dress alright. She took it back to the ol' skool days where girlfriends used to have the music pumping while trying on each other's clothes while playing dress up.

Her- Take that dress off, try these [black leatheretter looking] leggings...and wait, try this blouse on.

Me- Ooh, I like these. It makes me look like I have a niiiceee booty. Oh, cute top, but I don't want my tata's to fall out.

Her-They won't fall out. Wait, I've got a dog collar. Ugh, your neck is too small.

Me- You know, this look makes me want to wear leather gloves. That makes it real bad!

Her - Lisa [lil sis] has my leather gloves. [calls Lisa] When you come here, bring the gloves and some shoes, oh and some boots...you know the ones.... Take that off Alicia, try this dress...try this...now put on these shorts...

Let me tell you, we went from dressing for this weekend to dressing for my 40th birthday extravaganza. What about my black little dress? Well, it was lying on the bed with the rest of the outfits that she had me try on. No matter what the event will be like, trust me, I will be looking H-O-T and I'll be posting some pics to prove it!

A Word For My Spirit

So, I was over to Kesha's getting my locs tightened. And Titus, her hubby, who is like a play brother to me sent a folded piece of paper for me to read via his son. I refused it because Titus, like a brother, always teases me. So yeah, being smart - I refused it twice. Finally, Titus came out -very serious like- and gave me the paper himself. "This came to me, to my spirit for you." Yes, Titus is deep. You should read some of his writings.


It read: Do not settle on anything that will not provide fuel for your destiny.

Hmmm...what does that mean for me. And, what am I settling in. I think I can guess a few things. But, what exactly is Spirit trying to tell me. Yeah, I've always got to look at all sides of the box when a word is given to me about my life.

So, this evening as I flipped through the Natural Awakenings magazine, I saw the Moon Signs. Sept 15th, 1:50 AM: "The First Quarter Moon is like a scythe cutting across the sky. This is a time for decision, a time to cut free of the past and affirm our true core purpose. Choices made now are likely to be the right ones. Breathe deeply and focus on the light above to make your ideal real and move freely (dance!) to shed old ways and be present to the power and possibilities of the time."

Hmmm...time to shed some old stuff to fulfill my purpose and destiny. (Now sitting with my head cocked to the side, looking up with a deep thinking look in my eyes.)

A Taste of Power

175 mph. That's fast...real fast. And, I like to go fast - as I've discovered.


When the opportunity came for me to ride in a race car on the Nascar track, I deliberated for a minute. Should I? Or, shouldn't I? "Hey," I said to myself. "I'm turning 40 and this year is all about experiencing new things, heck yeah, let's do this!" And, I did.

It just so happens that since I'm on a journey, Dove is on a journey with me. Hey, it's part of the life of a single mother. But, she's a good road buddy. She's game for trying new things so she was in and didn't back out of it. She's cool.

We waited for our turn to get in the passenger seat of the race car. Disappointed crept in because I really wanted to wear that bad azz racer uniform. Can you imagine the picture - me in that uniform!?But, I quickly sobered as I realized that I'd be dripping sweat in this smothering Charlotte heat. Then I wondered, how in the world am I going to slide in the window of the car while trying to look cool. Luckily, Dove went first so I watched her. If she could do it then I could definitely do slide in gracefully.

Funny thing, I don't even watch the races on television and had never been to the track before this day. But, at that moment I had to experience being in a race car. I watched in proud excitement as she roared past me several times and came out with a smile. My turn. Helmet on - check! Cool stride - check! Leg up and slide in the car - ch..ch...check. The driver revved the engine and off we went! Fast...so very fast! Faster than the rollercoaster, The Intimadator! Extremely Fast! And, I could have sworn that he took me around 4 times. I tried to count, trust me. The fierce roar of the engine was incredibly loud while the vibrations from it penetrated my body. It was on! The ferocious rumble, me riding shotgun and the 1-2-3 and we're off made me scream with delight! While taking the curves, we hugged the wall so tightly I thought, "Hey, uhm, are we supposed to be this close to the wall?" I held all of my trust in the driver on this new adventure because as soon as I thought it, we were on the straight track again. Whew! Zoom! Whoa! We rumbled and skidded to a stop leaving a trail and smell of burnt rubber. I was ol' skool-Happy-Days-Fonze bad: Whoaaaa!

I did it. Fun. Fast. And, furious! Loved it! It was just over a little too soon.

Uhm Yeah, there's a certification for that!

Yeah, about this turning 40 thing and the bucket list...uhm, somewhere in between those two things I decided to teach dance fitness, i.e. Zumba. It's one of those things where you start the sentence with, "See, what had happened was..." I say that because I was never one to always dance (unless in the club back in the day) or attend any type of fitness class on a regular basis (not on your life, unless it was in my living room) or desire to teach (well, it was that one time that I thought I could teach African dance after taking an African-robics class). But, that's all in retrospect. We're talking about the here and now.

Yep, a year and a half ago, I walked into a Wednesday night Zumba class taught by Sara Bremer, not really knowing what to expect and I was hooked. It kind of put me in some kind of hypnotic trance or the music must have had some hidden messages delivered to the subconscious mind because all of a sudden I said, "I can do this. I'mma teach Zumba!" (I'm still wondering where that voice came from 'til this day!) I took a Zumba certification class and told Angie Acosta of Queen City Dancing Queen, "Okay, I'm certified, but I want to teach with your group." Yep, you know how the story went because I'm teaching with Ang and the QCDQ posse.

Yeah, about that... Uhm, here's the thing. I was supposed to be just teaching and having fun - but that is work! Learning choreo, being consistent, remembering stuff -did I tell you that as I've aged, my memory is starting to suck! Yeah, and now I'm accountable to lead groups of people all the while having an aging memory issue - and an getting AFAA Group Training Certification.

Hold up, what was that? Get a what? An AFAA Group Training Certification. Wait, who said anything about that? I just wanna dance! (You mean to tell me there's a certification to teach dance, too?) Yeah, who knew that I had to take that test. Fast forward and rewind back to last Friday - all day from 9-5:30. Certification Day. All. Day. Long. Here's the other thing...after spending the whole day going over muscles, figuring out what strength and stretch exercises to do for the practicum part of the test and breezing through a study workbook for the test and etc, and etc. - we start the test the last hour of the day. Someone should tell AFAA that college students have the agility and adaptability to workout all day and mentally exhaust themselves and still take an exam and someone should also remind AFAA that most of the participants were well beyond the collegiate age group! (Let me just say, I am not sure if I ate enough brain food because I was mentally exhausted by the time I took that test.) Side Note: The instructors for the day were absolutely wonderful and did their best to instill information into the participants.

Halfway through the test, I looked down at my answer sheet...(sigh) there were a lot of C's marked. Oh well... Let me just get back to dancing when things were not so complicated. Hey, I've got an idea! Maybe someone should make some music that subconsciously teaches all the muscle groups, nutrition, energy sources, fitness risks and benefits, etc (the etc. is everything you should know for the AFAA certification) and that way, while we're exercising our bodies our minds are getting plugged with information. Yeah? Yeah? You like that idea? It's yours, consider the first one free. If you make a million off of it, then I charge 20% for the idea. Good luck!

Taste of another custom...

So, my cousin went to Dubai (yes, all the way over to the infamous, luxurious Dubai) and posted the pictures of Facebook to prove it. She indulged in the exquisite desires and comforts that Dubai has to offer. But, who's jealous. I'm not jealous. Who said anything about jealous? Ohhh, one day, perhaps...

She partook in the custom that even the caterpillar in Alice in Wonderland experienced. The Hookah Pipe. Who remembers the relaxed, cool caterpillar puffing on the end of the stem? I remember when I first saw a hookah bar. I was at a Writer's Conference in Tampa and striding along with a few authors, we stumbled on one. Aussie bestselling author, Anita Heiss, and I wanted to try it out. Hey, that's what writer's do. We engage our senses and dare to experience life so that we can write about it. However, we didn't because the other two writer's didn't want to do it. Awww....

So, guess what? Charlotte has a hookah bar. Well, it's a dessert bar with hookah pipes. Same thing. And, I tried it. Yep, along with some other virgins to the hookah. We had to ask some hookah novices to show us what to do. I have to admit, it was exciting to try something new - that was also legal. And, it was pretty relaxing as well. (I don't think my pastor would approve, but if I was still a member of Christ Central, it would be fine since I know Pastor Harold experienced it and is not the least judgemental.)

The group of us puffed the strawberry flavored leaves and chuckled at each other as we attempted to look cool as newbies. It was cool. An experience, but I won't be feigning to get to the hookah bar every weekend for a fix. Now, if I ever go to Dubai, I know exactly what to expect. Or, if I'm every hanging out with Snoop, I'll know what he means by puff-puff pass - but only in the legal sense. :)

My Plea for Common Sense

If you haven't heard by now, let me be the first to tell you. Common Sense is available! And, as much as I hate to admit it (to admit it is an act of betrayal), I am wanting me some Common Sense. Well, you all might know him as Common. Common Sense was his name back in the day. And yes, Serena let him go! (It's about time! Come on home to me, Common...just come on home!) She claims to have commitment issues. (Whateva!)

I'm admitting it because my BFF used to be in love with Common. And, we women have a code that we follow. Girlfriend Code #3: Never Date Your GF's exes. Well, technically, he isn't her ex, but its like the same thing since she had a secret love for him (and Will Smith). Anyhoo, it's not my fault that I have these feelings for him. It's Common's!

It all started when he spotted me in a crowd at his concert and pulled me on stage and personally serenaded/rapped to me two songs and hugged on me and took pictures with me and left his body sweat on me (taking a big breath). Ahhhh....Common. You just have to sigh dreamily when you think of him. He's so intellectual and grounded. And, I bet he can hold a conversation. What a turn on! Okay, okay, moving on... That's when the fantasy began.

I mean, I just don't understand why Erykah and Serena can't appreciate that good man! Well, I'm sure they appreciated him when they were together, but come on, he's fine, beautiful smile, talented, smart, and I'm sure he values the beauty in women. He just has to!

Well, Common, I'm sending you my plea! Just come on back to me! We've got so much in common, Common. Your first major album was Like Water For Chocolate at that was the title for the first foreign film I ever saw! We both majored in Business Administration, although I was quite bored with it and changed my major. We both are spiritually connected, have one daughter, and use our gifts of writing/presenting to change minds. I get you, Common! We're both vegan, well, I hope you're still vegan. Ahh, I could go on and on about how we would make lifetime friends, but instead, I'll wait for your arrival back to Charlotte.

And I (aiiiiii) will always love youuuuuuuu!

And oldie, but goodie...This is where I am in my life.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond imagination (measure). It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous. Actually, who are you not to be so?

You are a child of God. Your laying small doesn't serve the world. (Small games do not work in this world). There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. (For those around us to feel peace, it is not example to make ourselves small.)

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not in some of us, it is in all of us.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, simply our presence liberate others.

-Marianne Williamson



I combined two different versions of the same quote.

I'm f(bleeping) Tasha Mack!

Okay, I'm not Tasha Mack, but I am Alicia Williams. I am Alicia Williams. I AM Alicia Williams.

Who is Tasha Mack? She's a fictional character on the sitcom, The Game. This chic has some issues of coming to grips of getting pregnant in high school by punk a$$ Chauncey, over 40 and still single with the only thing going for her is Malik El-Debarge Wright, her winning Quarterback son. But, it hit me - we all have issues that we are overcoming and as women, we still punish ourselves. We punish ourselves for past mistakes, for being single, for not having that perfect body, career, etc. And we do this, all while being wives, mothers and girlfriends. Dang, we got it hard, plus we have to have still go through menopause!

But seriously, I work hard to keep my confidence up. It should come easy, right? But it's not. High confidence comes in stages. I wish I was fabulous all my life, but incidents always reminded me (or us) that maybe I'm not all of that. Like, when my grandpa used to say: "You short, fat and squatty and ain't got no body." Or, the backward compliments of "You're kind of cute to be so dark skinned...if you had a lighter skinned sister, I'd talk to her." Or even to my hair, "Why you wear them things in your hair?" (Uh, my dred locs?)

As I watched The Game, I saw how Tasha Mack pumped herself up without the assistance of others. I realize that I must dust the old layers off of my shoulders and toot my own horn (I hate tooting my own horn, it seems so egotistical). Tasha would loudly declare, "I'm f(bleeping) Tasha Mack!" Yeah, go head with your bad self! Sometimes you gotta declare your own greatness because no one is gonna do it for you. Like Tasha, we've gotta push past our old mistakes and realize our full potential, beauty and power. "I'm (bleeping) Alicia Williams!" Yes! I know I'm beautiful! I'm destined for greatness! I'm all of that! Why? Because I said so! I'm Alicia Williams!

THIS is your life. This IS your life. This is YOUR life. This is your LIFE!

I'm gonna live life on my own terms. I'm gonna love me with all of my imperfections and past mistakes (and future ones). I'm gonna be, no - I am wonderful, talented, gifted and beautiful. You know what? Sometimes you gotta look in the mirror, rear your shoulders back, smile your best smile and say, "I'm (bleeping) _______ _______ (insert name here)!