You're not going to be my FB Friend!

I laughed out loud as I scanned a blog written by an acquaintance. A hilariously written list of those who deserve a throat punch. After all, who doesn't want to jab a good punch to someone in the throat on any given day, right? One of the groups listed: Adult women that choose to back stab and play the “I can’t be friends with you because you aren’t friends with her.”

When I transferred colleges, I joined my fellow sorority sisters on the new campus. I expected to be welcomed into a glorious sisterhood. I expected my sisters to have my back like Thelma and Louise, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, and Celie and Nettie of the Color Purple. But, boy was I wrong. As one sister said, "You meet all types of women in a sorority..." Tis true, sis.

I'm never one to just readily open up to women because of my past experiences. But, I've let my guard down and allowed myself to enjoy the encounters that new female friendships and bonds could bring. But, to quote Debbie, some of these chics need a good throat punch! Seriously, they're acting more like Desperate Housewives, Housewives of ATL, NJ and Orange County combined. Why??? I cocked my head to the side and questioned, "And, how old are you?" But, a friend said, "It's not about age, it's how they truly are."

Okay, you be the judge. If we met at BOA and developed a bond, but you started seeking employment at Wachovia, and BOA finds out that you've been posting, taking profiles, etc and resigned you, would we have to stop being friends? But, when you tell me that you care about our friendship, but you don't know who to trust at BOA now, should I be offended? I'm still the same person, just wanted to keep my job. And, to add insult to injury, when you delete me from your simple Facebook page as a friend, does that mean we're not friends anymore at all or just not friends on FB? Please tell me your thoughts...

I was up last night thinking about this issue because although I don't care that these women deleted me from their FB friends list, their reasoning for it bothes me. And, I don't really care that they have left a good company and started a bunch of unnecessary confusion. (Do you!) But, I do care that these individuals called me personally and texted me: "I care so much about our friendship and I just don't know who to trust...I don't know who's a mole...I hope we can work together...good luck, you're awesome...you make me smile...I'm tired of the gossip and rumors..." Then the very next day I lost these two supposedly friends on FB. I get hung up on by a forty-something man, now this? What is the world coming to?

"Maybe all the rumors, drama and gossip would not have started if it weren't for you! Or, maybe you don't know who to trust, paranoid of moles because you're guilty of something? Or, just maybe you are deleting everyone that knows the truth and hope that your new connections at Wachovia won't talk to your old connections at BOA?" As I told one of them, "what's in the dark will come to light eventually...it always does."

And, the other thing that I care about is everyone affected. All of the people who have been made to feel uncomfortable because of their mess! Making people feel like they have to choose, real friends don't do that. "I won't be your friend because you work for BOA and bank with BOA." What the hell? People are dealing with foreclosures, sickness, lost of jobs, children in Haiti are starving, tornado's affected family in other states... folks are dealing with big life issues and I hate that these women are causing distractions for their pettiness by involving so many others.

If you want to leave BOA and start a project over at Wachovia, own up to it! Just do it and own up to it. Then people wouldn't have to choose, you wouldn't be secretly deleting friends from FB and lying to their faces, and you wouldn't be trying to make the CEO, VP and employees of BOA look bad because of your decisions.

So, when I see them on the street, what do ya'll expect me to do? Truth be told, my life was fine before them and will be even greater after...no empty spaces were filled and no void was left. It was a good journey but it had to end because of their lack of credibility as an individual and the lack growth, evolution and accountability.

Yep, I said it, I meant it and I'm here to represent it. Don't you touch my dredlocks, don't you touch my knee cuz I'm a Detroit sista, don't you mess with me! (part of a chant that we used to sing back in the day in the D.)

When I grow up I want to be...hmmm, good question...

Let's see, as a kid I wanted to be an architect because I liked drawing. But, there was so much more to being an architect than just drawing, it required math. Ugh! Then I wanted to be a lawyer because it sounded cool. Heck, everyone wanted to be either a lawyer or doctor.

Fast forward to college, I started out majoring in Business Administration, but kept falling asleep in Accounting and Economics. For me, those subjects were boring with a capital B. But, not to insult those who are turned on by crunching numbers, it just wasn't my cup of tea. Then I switched over to Elementary Education and an art teacher took us to an elementary school to teach a lesson. Those unruly kids would not listen to me! "You're not a mommy, you're not tall enough!" That episode instantly ended that career choice for me. Don't laugh, those children left me traumatized.

Finally, I took an African-American Studies class and my eyes opened wide. I was Black! Yes, like James Brown sung, "I'm Black and I'm proud!" It was a new journey for me as those were the days that everyone wore the red-black-green Africa continent shaped medallions. So, I created a major in African-American Studies at the University of Kentucky. Where, I might add, took a few acting classes and was in a few plays.

Fast forward even further, I went to acting school in NY and all I wanted to do was land a gig on a sitcom.. or soap opera ...movie ...or even an indie film... or even a commercial -- or whatever could pay the rent and let me be on TV!

Okay, the point is...what am I going to be when I grow up? I've had every job there is: flight attendant, receptionist at the Geraldo Rivera show, grocery store clerk, make-up artist, nail technician, administrative assistant - just to name a few. But, those were just jobs, not careers or anything I strived to be when I grew up. Let's forget the fact that I'm a grown woman now, that's just a minute detail, okay.

So, that leaves me with the soul searching question: What will I be as I grow up, or mature?(As grown folks like to say.)

Toni Morrison once asked, "What is it that I must do or I'd die?" (Die being a metaphor for living without purpose.) For her, it was "I must write or else I'd die." What is it for me? I know what I like to do and what I really enjoy doing and even what I really, really like to do? But, are they what I would love to do every day or that I must do or I'd die?

It's like this commercial that's running on TV now. It shows mature(d) people saying what they want to be when they grow up, as if their goals were forgotten dreams distracted by the bill-paying-get-a-real-job-to-pay-the-bills necessity of life.

This journey of turning forty is more than experiencing a life of firsts, but discovering me. Who am I? What do I love? What is it that I must do on this earth that no one else is supposed to do?

Do you know what you must do, or else you'd die?