So, I told my gurl Erica that I wanted her to be in charge of making sure that I danced in a cage before my 40th. Promptly, she opened her day planner and without looking up said, "Done. We can do it on June...." That was it. Just like that. I asked Erica because she is young, full of life and truly knows how to have a good time. Trust me, I live vicariously through her Facebook photos.

The night started out with a blast at the Queen City Dancing Queen Prom. We had a fundraiser to help provide scholarships for those who need a little help. The attendance was low, but we had a blast. Plus, my special friend came and that meant a lot. But afterwards, the real event began...

Just like college days, a group of us piled up in a car and headed to the "spot." We fed our growling stomachs and laughed at all the private jokes. All in all, it was about 12 of us. Someone mentioned shots and that was foreign to me. "You don't do shots? You haven't taken a shot?" I hated to perpetuate any stereotypes so I kept my mouth shut from explaining that black folks don't often take shots. We like to buy one drink and hold on to it for the rest of the evening. "A shot is too fast to be spending all that money on," is what I pictured a sista saying with a hand on one hip and a roll of the neck. So, they got a shot or two for me. And yep, it works...trust me.

Just like Lil' Mama rapped, "Shawty was gettin' loose!" We slipped downstairs where the club was and took over the dance floor. Hesitation to approach the cage was wearing on me. Should I? But that's what I came here for, right? It's on my list! Soon, the right song hit and me and Diana, another dancer went in together.

I (and we) was (were) working the cage like a pro. No really, I was because someone said that. "You've done this before!" Uh no, I hadn't, but I've taken four pole dance classes at Tease Fitness! So, that's how I was able to move, but the shots helped me to relax and not be so self-conscious.

Finally, I was without inhibition and felt free to move about without the caring about any googley eyes. I can definitely mark it off my to-do list, but I just may have to add it again...just for the heck of it!

The truth about about pole dancing...

according to moi!

If you read my previous blogs, you would already know that I have added pole dancing to my repertoire of physical fitness. Traditionally, pole dancing has been stigmatized as a dirty dance with only raunchy or nasty ladies doing it. But now, its the latest trend with housewives, students, mothers and the neighborhood girls tip-toeing into a class.

This week I attended my second class. To be honest, I didn't want to go back. During the first class I kept looking for the clock to strike 12! I was ready to go! But, I paid my money and I wasn't about to waste it. So, I went back to Tease Fitness Boutique and claimed my pole. This week was a little better for me and I actually enjoyed it a little more.

But, what I learned is that it is much more than learning to dance and swing from a pole. And, more than just a physical fitness class. Much more than trying to feel empowered and sexy. (Note: Just don't ask Toni Braxton about pole dancing since she had a perfectly good pole in her new video and didn't even use it. Such a waste. How was she on a stripper stage, with a pole and just barely grazed the pole with her fingertips?! And, she calls herself dancing with the stars, hmph!)

Pole dancing is about trusting yourself...letting go and learning to trust. During a new move called "Carousel," I kept giving myself false starts or stopping myself in the middle of a turn. I kept holding back, but for what? Was I afraid of falling? Hardly, I was already close to the ground. (Hey, no short jokes, I'm being deep here.) Was I afraid of looking foolish? Heck, almost all of us faced challenges on different moves. Besides, it's not about comparing yourself to anyone else. So, why was I holding back and not trusting myself?

That's when it hit me...pole dancing is so much more than dance. I'm on a journey of learning myself, pushing myself, and trusting myself even more.

The Morning After

Ya'll, I'm sore. Who knew that my back (across my shoulders) would be sore? I expected my arms, but the rest of my body too? Come on, I wasn't venturing into pole dancing for the work out? Who does that? I strictly wanted to just tap into my sexiness.

Hey, guess what? It hasn't happened yet. My inner sexy goddess wasn't in the mirror this morning. She didn't show up as I cocked my head to the side and wiped crust away from my eyes. And, she didn't show up when I got out of the shower and looked at myself naked. But you know what? I still believe she's in me, maybe she's just not a morning person. Or, just maybe she needs more that one pole dancing lesson (it's a series of 6 classes). Or, maybe it takes more than just all of the dancing (Zumba, Dance Out and Urban Shimmy) I'm doing, but really looking at myself in the mirror and liking - no loving- what I see.

All of that is great - but what about the soreness?

Well, truth be told, I don't think this is the worst of it. I happened to wear leggings to my first class. I was told to wear shorts next time, "The shorter the better," she smiled innocently. But, what she didn't tell me (or the class) as she effortlessly flipped around, up side down, slid back down, and got back up sexy, is that we'll be walking away with pole burns. I was reminded of that as I read my friend's blog, thanks Sara!

She had the same experience during her pole dance class: trying to look sexy while being a virgin to the pole, then feeling the burning sensation as the pole meets skin and burns, as you attempt to slide down - while trying to look sexy. And, as my instructor as well as hers kept repeating, "Stand up sexy!" (In addition to "Keep toes pointed, ladies").

All day long I'm going to repeat "Get back up sexy." I won't be on a pole but as I get up from sitting down or bending to tie my shoes, whatever I'll be doing - just remember I'll be getting back up sexy.

Getting Sexy Back

"Ladies, instead of doing push-ups today, I want you to do pull-ups. Grab the pole, with the strongest hand on top, pull up and hold for at least ten seconds. Let me show you first." Wow, that looks easy. I've done core work and had to pull my legs up to my chest. Cool.

I eyed the girl that shared the pole with me, "You wanna try it first?" As excitement filled it room, it seemed that neither of us were too eager to go first as we were both beginners. But, she made it look so easy. To my surprise, pulling myself up on that pole for ten seconds was harder than I thought.

The instructor's body oozed sex appeal with each curve and dip of her hips around the pole. I bet that each and everyone one of us coveted the way she climbed and twirled around the pole. I sure did. I looked around and wondered how the diverse group of women found themselves at Tease Fitness Boutique. What was that one thought that got them registered for a pole dancing class. Quickly, I shrugged the thoughts off and focused on the moves of our instructor.

"Now, glide down the pole...this is Naughty Bunny." Oh, I like that one. I learned the Fireman, Martini, Pull Pull and several other seductive moves. My eyes looked around at the other women and gauged my progress. Although I'm competitive, I didn't feel like these women were competitors, but felt that we all came with the same goal.

You see, I've been dancing for the past year and learned to push my body to the limits. Pole dancing is a whole new realm since it works the upper body and core in a totally different way than weight lifting. Plus, add in the factor that we're supposed to be sexy during the learning process. Tonight, I realized that almost all women have a sexy goddess living deep inside of them and it takes the right combination to wake that goddess up and bring her forth.  

The energy changed from being a little tense to relaxed and fun as soon as we ladies stopped comparing our dance moves and bodies to the other attendees. I know I got in the flow a little better when I stopped taking myself so seriously and gave myself permission to just enjoy the process without expecting perfection. Breathe...have fun...get your sexy back. Ahhhhhhhhh....

Wait a minute, what did she say? Perform? Did she say we had to perform? Yep, by week four we will be working in heels...those high stripper heels. And, by the end of the class we should have choreographed our own routine. Shucks, I just about forgot half of the dance moves by the end of the class (darn short-term memory!) That's nothing, she showed us a move where we'll be upside down...please don't let me fall.

Why did I decide to take this class anyway? Oh yeah, I thought it would be fun AND it's a first for me. Hmph! But, I don't know about that upside down move. Wait a minute, didn't I say that I don't quit. I want to unleash my inner sexy goddess and explore her characteristics. As one of my older blogs mentioned, "I'm tired of being the cute friend and want to be sexy," and this may be the thing that ushers me to that point. Besides, all I need is a pole to practice on daily and a pair of red stripper shoes to walk around in...then I'll have it down in no time (yeah right: to the pole, the red stripper shoes and having it down in no time).